It’s no secret among married couples that relationship growth never stops. You spend your entire life learning who the other person is and who they need you to be. Lately I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to me to be a wife and what kind of wife I want to be to T.
Proverbs 31:10-31 is an excellent reference point (long passage alert).
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
Here’s what we can learn from the wife of noble character:
- She is a rarity in the world. Very few women are truly this kind of wife, which is what makes one so valuable.
- She brings good, not harm, to her husband, and her goal is always to build him up and support him.
- She is a diligent worker. She gives 100% to everything she does and has a good attitude while doing it.
- She contributes in important and unique ways to the provision of her family.
- She shows grace and compassion to people who are less fortunate than her.
- She stands strong in her faith and is always dignified and classy.
- She is wise enough to put her trust in God for the future.
- She is called to teach and guide others in their own faith.
- Ultimately, she loves the Lord above all else and knows that her true value is found in him.
What do those things translate into for me, practically speaking?
- I will always take opportunities to build up T to other people. I once read somewhere that you should always affirm your spouse in front of others and never, ever put them down, and I try my best to abide by that. I should do whatever I can to support him however I can. Whether it’s bringing him dinner when he doesn’t have time to go home between work and youth group, taking over driving on a long trip when he gets tired, or doing the laundry/cleaning/grocery shopping so he doesn’t have to, I constantly look for ways to make his life easier and better.
- Individually, my attitude at work (any kind of work) should be positive, committed, and selfless, which not only allows me to benefit other people through my job, but also helps me provide for my family.
- I can be an example and a role model for others, especially younger Christians. Right now I’m learning how to do this in youth ministry, and someday I hope to be able to guide my own kids in their faith journeys and relationships with Christ.
- My own faith should be the number one priority in my life, after which everything else will fall into place. I need to trust in God’s provision for my life and know that I was created to be a child of God and to find my ultimate identity in him alone.
I know I’m not always the perfect “Proverbs 31 wife,” but the beauty of marriage is that I have a lifetime to work on becoming one. I also have a godly husband who will (and does) encourage me in my efforts to be the kind of wife for him that God wants me to be.
Ladies, have you ever heard of the “Proverbs 31 wife”? What does being a wife mean to you?